Cooking Fail: Mashed Cauliflower Ain't No Mashed Potatoes

Don't make this. Read this post and revel in the fact that you probably knew to stay away from such a recipe. If you like cauliflower like I do, eat some. Roast it or make this delicious soup, but, by all means, do not make this recipe. You won't fool anyone.

There are too many faux this and faux that recipes on Pinterest and some of my favorite food blogs. Here's the lesson: if you really like something that is less than healthy, eat it once in a while, in moderation, and save faux stuff for your winter wardrobe.

Ingredients & Tools

• a head of cauliflower
• 1 cup of ricotta 
• 4 to a million garlic cloves
• Parmesan cheese
• Kosher salt
• pepper
• immersion blender

Chop and cook the cauliflower in simmering water until it is fork-tender, about 20 minutes.

Add the ricotta and garlic to the drained and cooked cauliflower. I really love garlic. Mr. Crying Cook does too, but, yowzers, raw garlic is too much for me. Not only did I use it raw like the recipe indicated, I. ADDED. MORE. Don't do that. Seriously.

Blend it all with an immersion blender until it's smooth and fools you into thinking it may be tasty.

Season it with salt and pepper. Grate fresh Parmesan.

See, it looks like it could be okay. My husband was very generous with his review. He's a good guy. Thankfully, the pork chop and the kale was good.

Shredded Chicken For Many Recipes

There are some really smart people on the interwebs. A pin on Pinterest suggested using a KitchenAid mixer to prepare shredded chicken. I took this one step further and used my crockpot to cook a bunch of chicken breast--making the whole process even easier. There are so many recipes that call for chicken, so why not make a lot of head of time?

Ingredients & Tools

• boneless, skinless chicken
• slow cooker
• standing mixer

Cook the chicken on low in your slow cooker for 2-4 hours, depending on the amount of chicken. This should be "naked" chicken. Add the seasoning you need to the specific recipes once you're actually making it.

Allow the chicken to cool completely. Add it to the mixing bowl. There's no need for any kind of liquid.

Start at the lowest setting. The shredding took less than a minute and I only increased it to the third setting. This was so simple.

I used some of the chicken right away in my middle eastern salad. The rest is in the freezer for an easy weeknight dinner.

Potato Frittata

I visited a friend in Virginia and on the way back to NYC, I stopped at a Le Creuset store. Despite every instinct I had, I walked out of the store with only the one item I had intended to purchase: a 10 inch cast iron skillet from my wish list. There's a life lesson there about how you can make your own dreams come true, but this post is about eggs.

During the work week, I usually eat baked oatmeal for breakfast with Greek yogurt. With my new skillet, I knew a frittata was in my future. It was great immediately for Sunday breakfast and just as good the next day at my desk.

Ingredients & Tools

• 6 eggs
• 6 strips of bacon
• 2 russett potatoes
• 1 onion
• 1 cup ricotta cheese
• a "handful" of kale
• Kosher salt
• pepper
• oven-safe skillet
• saucepan

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Peel, dice, and cook the potatoes.

Chop and cook the bacon. Your loved ones will immediately show up in the kitchen. "Is that bacon?"

While the bacon is cooking, prepare the eggs. Crack 6 into a large bowl. Look, no shells!

Add the ricotta cheese, some salt and pepper, and stir. Set the egg mixture aside.

Once the bacon has cooked, drain off the fat and add one chopped onion and some handfuls of kale to the skillet. Cook until the onion is translucent.

You'll want to eat it at this stage. Be patient.

Add the potatoes.

Add the eggs. Cook on the stove for 2-3 minutes while stirring gently.

Cook the frittata at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes.

This is a hearty breakfast that made my Monday so much better.

Baba Ghanoush

Reading nutritional and ingredient labels can lead to heartbreak. I really like baba ghanoush, the roasted eggplant dip, and was disappointed and disgusted to find out that the brand I buy is made with mayo. Mayo is wrong. Everything about it. I had been duped.

A visit to one of my favorite food sites, theKitchn, had an easy recipe. I made it even easier. Do this. It's tasty, healthy, vegan, and there is no mayonnaise.

Ingredients and Tools

• 1 large eggplant
• 1 lemon
• 3 garlic cloves
• 1/4 cup tahini
• Kosher salt
• pepper
• olive oil
• roasting pan/cookie sheet
• food processor

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Cut off the top of the eggplant and cut it in half lengthwise. Do not peel. That would be crazy. Use a generous amount of olive oil, Kosher salt and pepper. Roast for one hour and cool for another hour.

Once the eggplant is cooled and can be handled safely, it's time to blend. Add the tahini. Tahini is just ground sesame seeds. Add the peeled garlic cloves. I really like garlic and will use two more cloves next time. I added a bit more salt and pepper at this stage. Juice a lemon in a separate bowl to avoid getting seeds in the food processor and then cursing and then digging them out with a spoon and then being annoyed. Not that I did that.

Scrap the "meat" of the eggplant into the food processor, but none of the skin. Process until smooth, about a minute.

You will get a smooth and fresh baba ghanoush that will make you want a big bag of pita chips. I ate this with my fake Middle Eastern chicken salad.

This picture is terribly out of focus, but the baba ghanoush was delicious!

Brined & Roasted Turkey Breast

There is nearly no measuring in this recipe. You can measure if you want to, but know I'm already eating and on my second glass of wine. I don't even know if this qualifies as a recipe since it is so simple. 

Turkey is delicious and easy to make in the oven, but I have yet to tackle an entire bird. I also cook for two, so it wouldn't be very practical to wrestle with a 20 pounder.

For the brine, you'll need:

• 1 cup salt
• 1/2 black peppercorns
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• a gallon of water 

I did not measure the water, or the peppercorns, but you should. [Or don't and the world keeps spinning]. Alton Brown taught me all the wonders of a brine. Essentially, a brine is salt solution that, through the magic of osmosis, creates a juicy protein by trapping in the moisture. There are many recipes for brines that start with stock and call for a lot of herbs and spices. Save that for November. For a weeknight meal, this simple brine makes the final dinner incredibly moist.

I let the breast hang out in the brine for an hour after work, turning it over after 30 minutes.

Ingredients & Tool

• a brined turkey breast
• thyme
• sage
• rosemary
• garlic powder
• Kosher salt
• olive oil
• roasting pan
• meat thermometer 

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.

Rub the turkey liberally with olive oil. Season it all over with the combination of dried herbs of your choosing or use my suggestions. Roast for 90 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 165 degrees.

And that's it! I added two sweet potatoes to the pan and some broccoli in another roasting pan.

If only all dinners could be made entirely in the oven. Enjoy!